Police Officer: Son, you know why I pulled you over?
Me: No. What- what's wrong, officer?
Police Officer: You we hitting 80 in a 60 zone. And-. *looks hard at my face*
Me: *getting nervous* Uhh...
Police Officer: Is that crack cocaine on your face, son?
Me: No, it's Melodifestivalen 2014, but just as good.
Police Officer: I meant the slush on ya face.
Me: Oh. That's rabies. Raccoon bit me.
Police Officer: You should get that checked-
*jumps out of car, bites Police Officer repeatedly, PO shoots at me, my eyes glow red, I hiss like a cat in heat, I run off into the woods*